Character Flaw
My final officer evaluation report mentioned a character flaw becasue I had lied on an official report and recieved a General Officer Memorandum Reprimand (GOMAR). In my rebuttal I stated I had lied on a police report becasue I didn't want to reveal that what had happened that night/morning was a suicide attempt. Had they actually breathalyzed me, or did a drug test they would had seen I was still drunk and loaded with prescribed sleep pills. But that hadn't been done I was questioned and answered everything as best I could.
During my time in command I was severly depressed and wanted to go home, I probably wasn't even in the right state of mind to even be placed in a level of responsiblity due to most actions or events were due to my spontaneity. I wanted to get hurt, injured, or die, basically anything that would send me back stateside. My walk from the living quarters to the company office was about half a mile. And I would contemplate throwing myself in front of one of the on base buses, hanging myself from the guard tower that was right across from the living quarters. My struggle was always wanting to die.
I reached out for help with the on base psyschologist, she even met with my first battalion commander, as I cried in front of him wanting to leave and go home. My family life was turning sour, and I felt taking care of that was more important than what I was currently doing. I really wasn't focused enough to be a commander.
Waking up became difficult, I was easily irritable, I avoided most, and got only close when there was nothing to really lose. I was an asshole to many because I did know how to treat others with respect since I didn't even know how to treat myself with respect. I had a character flaw that I could not show my soldiers nor could I face wholeheartedly.
After my change of command I sat in Kuwait downing my prescribed sleeping pills eight to twelve at a time just to stay asleep with a hope that hopefully I would not wake up. I had so much hate and anger against my chain of command that I wanted my death to plagued and haunt them for their inaction to see that all I needed was help, help they constantly failed to provide.
My final officer evaluation report mentioned a character flaw becasue I had lied on an official report and recieved a General Officer Memorandum Reprimand (GOMAR). In my rebuttal I stated I had lied on a police report becasue I didn't want to reveal that what had happened that night/morning was a suicide attempt. Had they actually breathalyzed me, or did a drug test they would had seen I was still drunk and loaded with prescribed sleep pills. But that hadn't been done I was questioned and answered everything as best I could.
During my time in command I was severly depressed and wanted to go home, I probably wasn't even in the right state of mind to even be placed in a level of responsiblity due to most actions or events were due to my spontaneity. I wanted to get hurt, injured, or die, basically anything that would send me back stateside. My walk from the living quarters to the company office was about half a mile. And I would contemplate throwing myself in front of one of the on base buses, hanging myself from the guard tower that was right across from the living quarters. My struggle was always wanting to die.
I reached out for help with the on base psyschologist, she even met with my first battalion commander, as I cried in front of him wanting to leave and go home. My family life was turning sour, and I felt taking care of that was more important than what I was currently doing. I really wasn't focused enough to be a commander.
Waking up became difficult, I was easily irritable, I avoided most, and got only close when there was nothing to really lose. I was an asshole to many because I did know how to treat others with respect since I didn't even know how to treat myself with respect. I had a character flaw that I could not show my soldiers nor could I face wholeheartedly.
After my change of command I sat in Kuwait downing my prescribed sleeping pills eight to twelve at a time just to stay asleep with a hope that hopefully I would not wake up. I had so much hate and anger against my chain of command that I wanted my death to plagued and haunt them for their inaction to see that all I needed was help, help they constantly failed to provide.
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